When one needs extra anesthesia.

No. 88 Thoughts on (irrational) fears and wicked hot weekdays.

As confident as I can be in certain scenarios, there are other times when I grip the arm rests so intensely I’m surprised the vinyl covering doesn’t break apart. Yes, friends, I really despise going to the dentist. But, much like other necessary parts of life, I had to face my (irrational?) fear and go to the dentist recently. Let’s just say it had been…too long.

Thankfully, they did not report any cavities and the floss-shaming wasn’t as offensive as expected (although it’s never not offensive). However, I forgot how much I cringe at the noise of dental tools (omg, no thank you) and how generally uncomfortable it is to have a plethora of X-rays taken of one’s mouth. Wowza. Not to mention the fact that after a hearty amount of time in that vinyl-covered chair with my head tilted toward the sky, I need to go back! Multiple times!

The dental team must have noticed my apprehension from a mile away because they kept reassuring me that I’d be OK and that for the future appointments they will give me plenty of anesthesia - numbing cream(?) - so that I won’t feel a thing. Thank goodness! I will also bring my Airpods and very loud music. There is no need to hear what’s happening if you ask me.

My distaste for the dentist strikes me as bizarre. I have no fear of the doctor’s office or anything else medical-related. I practically skate into hospitals and overall have no fear about most medical procedures.

When I need to have blood taken, I am not afraid. I request that they use my hand, versus my forearm, due to my teeny tiny veins. The phlebotomist never believes me, tries both of my arms, then declares me correct (surprise, surprise) and gets the work done on my hand. I leave with bruises and bandages everywhere. But it doesn’t make me afraid to return. It’s just a nice reminder that the patient is usually right. ;)

My fears in this world, besides the dentist chair, are somewhat run of the mill: I’m afraid of heights (I’ll never go on a roller coaster), being stuck in an elevator (this happened last week to a friend), losing Pepper (although she doesn’t strike me as a runaway), a massive house fire (the ones in LA got to me), spiders, bee stings, car accidents, drowning, avoidable injuries, and many of the other “scaries” that live in the back of my mind. Perhaps this list is longer than yours? Shorter? Weirder? Maybe missing a few things? Probably all of the above.

Being afraid of something isn’t bad or uncommon. And I bet my list of irrational fears is longer than most, but I am OK with that. I hope that my dentist fears subside yet I don’t assume that will happen in the near term. I’ll probably be wary of spiders forever. I need to take an elevator every day to go to my office so that situation is very much out of my control.

I suppose the best plan to assuage my fears is to face them when possible and gauge the risk more appropriately. We cannot control what others do, for better or worse, so my car accident concerns just exist within me on a daily basis.

You all must think I’m a nut at this point just walking around with countless ridiculous fears amidst everyday life. I promise I’m actually managing all of this quite well. You’d never know. Except now you do. Since I told you.

Tacos are often the best solution after a hard day in a heat wave.

But alas, who is existing in the world these days with zero fear or concern? I don’t know them. I’m constantly worried and apprehensive and a little bit on edge. Show me someone who isn’t. But again, fear is not holding me back from everyday life. That great honor goes to the absurd heat wave last week and the hot days ahead! Oh summer, it has arrived en masse.

Public Garden, pre-8am, looks tropical. Feels tropical.

You know what is scary? Leaving the house for work looking nice and put together and then, arriving to the office a while later, looking like you didn’t even bother to shower. Thank you, heat wave! It was 103 degrees last week. 103! How is that even a temperature we can exist in? It’s just Too. Hot. I gave up on socks many weeks ago as well.

My slew of breezy summer shirt-dresses, although quite comfortable, have long sleeves and therefore are barely acceptable for temps that go past 90 (or 80, really). Perfect for the air-conditioned office, less ideal for the sweaty walk to and from.

Pepper is a hot dog on the patio.

I found some great, lightweight, heat-wave appropriate attire at J.Crew Factory that will work for the weeks to come. And despite my better judgement, I’ll probably continue wearing the shirt-dresses because easy-breezy-flowy is the best combo when it’s too hot to bother with anything else.

While I’d love to be a Cool Sandal Person, I have a hard time justifying anything that will make my feet sweat even more than usual. Birkenstocks on the weekend, canvas sneakers for the commute. Espadrilles at the office are a nice in-between and go with everything. If I were to become a Cool Sandal Person, I love these. And these. Someday!

What else is happening, friends? Are you busy this summer? If one more person asks me if I have planned any summer travel, I may just lose my mind. I love to travel, I really do, but I’m bad at planning, our dog is with us all of the time, and I’m deeming this summer to be one for all of the appointments (see dental plan above).

Perhaps we’ll do a long weekend someplace or maybe(!) another venture to NY, but at the moment, I’d like to enjoy our patio, all of the dahlias that are actually opening ahead of schedule, and cherish the moments that feel peaceful.

I am adding a paywall to the final section as we’re getting to the extra personal. Please consider become a paid subscriber as I’d be thrilled to share everything with you that’s going on beyond the usual fears and wicked hot days.