A Friday Buffet
No. 005 How I am learning to not buy into, well, everything.
Hello!
We’re amidst a stretch of the most glorious fall weather here in New England and it is simply stunning. I am a foliage fanatic (no shame) and I cannot get enough of the colors that are everywhere right now. Bright yellow! Roaring red! Awesome orange!
The leaves are on fire (not literally) and it makes my daily walks that much more worthwhile. Not to mention the temperature hovers between 50-60 degrees which is perfect for light layers and/or a jacket. This time of year is truly splendid. No pumpkin spice required. ;)
It is hard to pinpoint the moment that the “shopping bug” bit me, but it has had a tight hold on me for decades. I have loved going to stores to browse and buy long before I had my own wallet and definitely before I was earning my own money.
Whether I was out with my mom running errands and asked for a stop into the toy store, or on a weekend adventure with my grandmother at Toys ‘R’ Us, filling the giant cart with everything I wanted to “think about,” shopping it seems, has been a lifelong favorite pastime. I have no shame or guilt about it. I just like (or love) to shop.
Given this passion, I am shocked my career choices have not steered in that direction whatsoever. And while I have more recently considered working in a field that aligns with this constant interest in looking at what’s available to buy, I have never made the change. Probably for the best!
The problem is not that I love shopping (if it is, don’t tell me). The problem is that I have learned to love shopping online. Let’s blame 2020, shall we? Prior to that eventful (to say the least) year, I was not someone who turned to the apps for finding things to buy. I really do enjoy going to stores, walking around, browsing, and deciding what, if anything, I will purchase. However, the year the pandemic hit, as well as all sorts of other life-altering events, I was forced to change my favorite activity. The physical stores were closed, but there was nothing stopping me from the constant option of browsing (and shopping) online.
Of course, online shopping has existed for years. It is not a new concept. Personally, I mostly avoided it prior to 2020. I didn’t have much interest aside from ordering cookbooks and the concept of waiting for purchases in the mail seemed to be the exact opposite of what I loved so much about shopping in general: the instant gratification! Oh boy, maybe I do need some help…
Let’s just say this: 2020 was the year I learned to love online shopping and it was also the year that I realized the joy of free and quick shipping from specific retailers. Now, we’re edging closer to 2023 (oh my) and I have been working away at donating, and selling, a fair amount of what I added to my cart (read: clothing) during that very tumultuous year. Oh, let’s face it: 2021 didn’t curb the ordering much either.
Before you starting sending me recommendations for mental health professionals, please know that I am well aware of my habits. I’m working on having a much healthier relationship with my favorite pastime and realizing a big part of the problem: social media.
Yes, of course, social media plays into the “I need everything I see and I need it now,” mentality. It is quite difficult to not compare one’s possessions to those of someone else who is most-certainly a stranger, but is flaunting their recent purchase as if to say “this is the best of this and we all need it.”
As someone who browses constantly already, watching Instagram stories of people who also enjoy shopping for the latest and greatest is probably not the best use of my time. However, after some trial and error recently, I am learning that I don’t need everything I see. Not every piece of clothing that looks good on someone else’s life will work for me and my own, very different life. I think this all goes back to that (correct) mindset: you shouldn’t try to be anyone else but yourself.
While my life now has me working fully remotely from my own kitchen, I used to go into Boston each day for work and years (and years) ago, I lived in NYC where I would also trek to an office each day. Times have changed! And while I often feel like I’m missing out on the hustle and bustle of the daily commute and getting dressed for work, I know in my heart that my current setup is pretty ideal. What does all this have to do with online shopping and social media? More than you think.
Without a daily commute or an office full of co-workers, there are not that many people I actually see every day who would notice a new outfit or a new pair of sneakers. Why do I put so much effort in when the audience is somewhat small? For starters, I like to feel put together and even during 2020, I got fully dressed each day for work at the table. And nothing has changed: I still work from home (new job as of last January) and I still get fully dressed each morning before beginning work. That’s just me.
This is a roundabout way of saying that despite my lack of traditional office and less-common setting, I still like to feel part of the crowd. I still like to shop for “work clothes” and still love browsing online as if I’m going to see countless people throughout my day. You can move a girl out of the city, but she’s still going to shop like she’ll see thousands of faces each day.
Where am I going with any of this? I think I took you on a long journey that I’m still trying to figure out. I appreciate you being here. I love (online) shopping and am working on finding a balance between buying what I need and pausing before buying what someone else is saying I should need.
For example, I’ve been staring at a pair of water-resistant suede boots for a few weeks now that do not fit into any category of my day to day life. However, I have seen them in countless ads and multiple people on IG have been raving about them. I even found them for a better price than the original. Yay! But do I need them? Most certainly not.
Need and want are two very different words especially when it comes to clothing for my very-much-at-home daily life. Since the great Online Shopping Spiral of 2020, I am working hard to keep myself in check and realize that no, I do not need everything I see. And I do not need to make my life look like anyone else’s. Mine is pretty great as is.
Editor’s note: the emergence of Apple Pay has not exactly helped. It’s now easier than ever to instantly buy what you see. Yikes! It does, however, make paying for groceries nice and quick. :)
Now that I’ve rambled for too many paragraphs about shopping (oops), let me share a few fun reads and some links! It seems funny to encourage browsing, but that’s all it is. I would never say you “must” buy anything I share here. But I do highly recommend a few things…
Guy Fieri’s Dream Dinner Party sounds good to me!
A brief video featuring pro chefs and their favorite pans for cooking.
A quiz about Paul Rudd. Ha! He doesn’t age…
Not remotely “Halloween-ish” but that won’t stop me from baking heart cookies.
I love finding guides on The Strategist because they do the work (read: research) for me. Yes, this guide to shopping at Patagonia, is quite useful!
And this Strategist series, “Don’t Dillydally” that features new items that will sell out is always a good one to review.
The price of a really delicious burger has soared as well as everything else on the menu. Eek…
Corduroy is having a moment (apparently) and I think this olive green pair of pants are terrific. I was happily surprised with the fit and they are so soft!
Admittedly, I will not be watching The Watcher (Netflix) because the concept is enough to keep me awake at night for months. It’s based on a true story! However, I will read about it because it’s kind of fascinating. And very creepy.
Just for fun luxury: Keeping an eye on this Jenni Kayne Cashmere Turtleneck (despite my not-long-neck) because it looks like the coziest for the winter months.
Cheers and joy,
Mollie
